How to Handle Stressful Family Holidays

Resilience + Clarity

  I don’t know about you, but my biggest issues come up with my family. I thought I’d share some tips I use during the holidays and scripts you can use both during and afterwards to help make things easier.

First Thing First

Gratitude helps a whole bunch. There is so much in my life to be grateful for, no matter what is going on externally.

Especially in these times of such global unrest, I’m grateful for clean air, clean water, safe neighborhood, secure home, access to multiple media sources, the right to express my opinions, freedom from violence and fear, access to organic food and myriad food choices, clothing I love, books and movies to entertain me, music that feeds my soul, online and in person friends, online groups to support me, the beauty of this wondrous planet, and access to my inner world and spiritual guides.

How about you? It really helps to spend a few minutes in gratitude every day, throughout the day, to put family energies in perspective.

This practice is especially helpful if you are alone or missing loved ones who aren’t with you. Hold them in your heart and they can be with you when you think of why you love them so much. 

Emergency Actions

If your family and loved ones are working your nerves and you need a break before you blow up or cry, here are a few tips.

  • Have an emergency song that you can listen to that always calms or inspires you. Free by Stevie Wonder is one of mine.
  • Have an emergency mantra – mine is everything’s going to be alright, hearing Bob Marley sing it.
  • Take a deep breathing break – slip in the bathroom, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths so your belly fills up, let it out with a sigh. Stretch a bit while you’re doing this, if you’re tense.
  • Detach – you are not your family’s thoughts, feelings, politics or money issues. You are a magnificent divine being in a little body for a short period. This too shall pass. 

Scripts to Read

At the beginning or end of the day, I ask for help all the time from my soul and my spirit guides in little scripts or statements – sometimes they are like prayers, sometimes I’m declaring a state for my reality that’s in contrast to what I’m experiencing in front of me.

For instance, when your family is watching news programs or discussing politics diametrically opposed to your beliefs, try this script.

I am that I am (this calls in the power of your soul). I ask to be shielded from negative energy from my family’s beliefs, patterns, or discussions. I set the intention I’m filled with ease and joy, content with my beliefs. I release and allow my family members to choose their thoughts without affecting my peace of mind. The world is filled with choices and options; I ask for the grace to let them be as they are and ask for comfort and support in loving and accepting myself just as I am right now. May Grace bless this space for us all.  

When you’re feeling bad about yourself, try the following script. This is huge for me – after a few hours with my family, I always think I’m mentally ill, no matter what’s going on.

I am that I am. I call upon all of my spirit guides, angels, soul and divine help to help me remember I am blessed, filled with light, capable of great love, and have myriad gifts to share. Please help me let go of the feeling I am flawed and quiet these inner voices that will not give me peace. I ask to be surrounded by light and love and self acceptance unceasingly throughout the rest of my time with my family. Help me please, I am most grateful for the love and comfort. 

I plan for something soothing I can do after the visit is over. Sometimes I smudge if I’m in the rabbit hole of reviewing all my imperfections, but usually hot shower, a favorite beverage and an old movie are all that’s needed. Casablanca is one of my favorites to escape into. What’s one of yours? Laughter and hugs clear your energy fields really quickly as well.

Blessing and Release Message from the Archangels

I leave you with a brief blessing from the Archangels. May it fill your heart with ease.


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